Garden Storyteller Gifts

The Perfect Garden.

'..Wasn't I supposed to offer her an apple or something?'

"Lily, Rose, this is Violet."

"My biggest problem is squatters."

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

The Environmentalist

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

Silhouette hawk swooping down to catch a silhouette rabbit.

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

Dragon Recycling the Knights it has defeated

"By God, Man! Yes!! This is the stuff we're looking for!"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

I miss recess!

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

Two 'superheros' show the discrepancy in toilet paper production.

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

"For heaven’s sake, Rozlyn, just give him the darn plant!"

"Well, I deal with death and carrion every day: Laughing is a therapeutic way of avoiding depression..."

"Voila! Our tree-trimming drone just saved us 600 bucks!'

"You're overprotective. Stop telling her not to go out on a limb."

A Salmon Lie

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Polar Bear Paparazzi.