Garden Giggles T-Shirts

'We found it washed up on the beach and thought it would make a nice water feature.'

'Daisys squirting-no punch line'

Pogo-stick and the Gardener.

'Gareth, would you stop making mountains out of molehills?'

The Busy Gardener

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

Beware of the Dog Hair.

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

'I know what you're thinking, are those legal shoes.'

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Yard Sale

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Beginning Yarder.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

'Where are you going?'

Balding gnomes

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

Frontispiece to the Artists' Catalogue.

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

'Oh yeah? Well I'm not crazy about your humming, either!'

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

Hydroponic Gardening

'It's my first attempt at gardening but so far I've learned...'