Garden Of Giggles T-Shirts

'I don't know, it just no longer feels that original.'

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You lifted your head.'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

Beware of the Dog Hair.

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

Hardy Annuals

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Beginning Yarder.

"I might just get a pie."

Yard Sale

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"What are you in for?"

J. Wilbert Dentist - Sorry We're Open

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

'Where are you going?'

Frontispiece to the Artists' Catalogue.

Balding gnomes

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

Now THAT, my friend, is a beer garden!

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."