Garden Gigglers T-Shirts

'It's my first attempt at gardening but so far I've learned...'

"Honest Dad, I was going to mow the lawn... But I can't find the lawnmower in here!"

"For crying out loud, Adam, put this on before you catch a cold."

'Oh yeah? Well I'm not crazy about your humming, either!'

'It's one of your five a day.'

"I hate vegetables."

The Busy Gardener

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"What are you looking at, four eyes?"

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Beginning Yarder.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Yard Sale

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

Balding gnomes

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

'Where are you going?'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."