Garden Critic Gifts

"Excellent, an unkept garden! Obviously not a keen gardener so the chances of us being poisoned here are low..."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Taking it easy

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

Mantis Love

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

Nature Lovers

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

Watering the garden gnome

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Man watering with the 'Theory of Natural selection'.

Leaves drop from trees and bounce off a trampoline.

Suburban street.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

'I'd invite you in but there's no room.'

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

Crazy paving company.

Stop and Smell the Roses

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'