Garden Clown Gifts

Gardening for Beginners

An Unexpected Guest.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

Tennis ball girl.

'Where are you going?'

Yoghurt man

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

"It's depressing, people just don't take our work seriously."

"He didn't slip on even one of those peels..."

Hydroponic Gardening

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

Borrow the Bag?

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

"I can't believe I went so long without A.C."

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

"I stopped singing to my plants! I've never had one say 'shaddup!' before!"

'What kind of bulbs did you put in here?'

"Found it when I was digging the garden...."

A better way to sweep the floor.... just shuffle!

Talk to your plants ??" but first, give them a chance to calm down.

'My Dad gave him a parking ticket for standing on his vegetable patch!'

Microwave - 'Table 19 sends compliments to the chef!'

'Hoopla!'

"It's a bird feeder to attract birds of prey."

'Manfred went to look for the lawnmower - now I've lost him, too!'

'I told you Ko-ko that you don't have to even think of retirement - the phone stopped ringing for you years ago!'

'We planted some birds of paradise for ironic flair.'

'Remember, Son, to occasionally take time to stop and pee on the roses.'

"I've just sacked the gardener as you said Dear.."

"Sorry Pardner, but this is fool's gold!"