Family Clown Gifts

'OK! I'll talk!'

"Mom always liked you best."

Borrow the Bag?

Ethics exam cheater.

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Dead Funny

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

Young Dr. Dolittle.

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"In economics, I got an IOU."

Caption contest. After last year's 3,000 entries, we're doing it again! Visit Speedbump.com for info and send your entries to speedbumpcomic@comcast.net.

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

Crab with a clown face.