Comedy Clown Gifts

"Sorry Pardner, but this is fool's gold!"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

"More helium."

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

Rattlecornsnake

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

"He didn't slip on even one of those peels..."

Yoghurt man

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

"It's depressing, people just don't take our work seriously."

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

"Sweet dreams, Tim." "Mort Feldstein: Loving father and professional clown."

'I never forget a face.'

'Too much hazel, not enough nut.'

A better way to sweep the floor.... just shuffle!

"It's a new policy, sir. . . you have to be wither under fourteen or over fifty to rent Jerry Lewis movies."

Mixing Business and Pleasure

"Williams cannot work from home anymore. He's losing touch with the company culture."

'I asked you if you wanted to lick the bowl....not the bull.'

Oh, hey, want me to take that?

"Why are you giving them whiskey?"

"What smells so good? -- I'm not cooking for you, but for my dog."

'I told you Ko-ko that you don't have to even think of retirement - the phone stopped ringing for you years ago!'

Clown receives 'hee hee mail'.

'See??. . . No such thing as monsters in the closet. . . or evil clowns under the bed. . . Now, try and get some sleep little one!!'