Professional Clown Gifts

"Sweet dreams, Tim." "Mort Feldstein: Loving father and professional clown."

"Six birthday parties. I’m up to here in fun."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Yearbook

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

Shake it all about sign on desk

How are you at decision making?

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

"It's the new simplified tax demand from HMRC. . . Three Questions - How much did you earn last year? How much have you got left? And how soon can you send it. . .?"

"You're new here ... it's customary on dismal Monday mornings to be miserable."

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

'Careful, that's where the boss keeps his ego.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

Brainstorm in progress.

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

Clown Wife

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

'How come, unlike some other bosses, you never surprise me with little promotions?'

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."