Garden Chore Humorist Gifts

"Either you mow the lawn now, or I start the Independence Day celebrations early."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Boy squashed under lawn roller.

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Man is injured transporting cacti.

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

God builds the first lawn mower.

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

Crazy paving company.

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

Avoid Constant Borrowing

'Look what my son gave me!'

'Dear, I think the plants need watering.'

'Okay dear, it's your turn to go stand in the front yard.'