Garden Chore Haters Gifts

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

A genie helps a man fold laundry.

'I ask you, Larry the Landscaper, did you ever, under any circumstances, promise anyone a rose garden?'

For the new gardener.

Square Yard

Adam and eve do their laundry,

'I believe you want some fencing done at the bottom of your garden?'

Leaf Blower Showdown.

"Thank you, sir."

Unwanted Guests

'I've told you before, I don't like broccoli.'

'If you want me, honey, I'll be out here in the orchard.'

"I think you'd better switch the water feature off."

Tunnel of Laundry.

The Gardener's Calendar: Start up the Engine

Beware of unexploded fireworks when burning rubbish.

November: Your lawn will have stopped growing now.

Flower pot tries to escape to the next balcony.

'There goes the scourge of this county.'

'Just so you know, you're doin' it wrong.'

"Excuse me, I have a cold."

'I didn't say a squirrel was on our bird feeder again...I said Earl was on our bird feeder again!'

'My husband used to be an avid gardener, but now all he does is plant himself.'

'He's over-stayed his welcome and I'm starting to doubt his story about being a distant relative.'

'I got the idea when I was blowing my leaves.'

"Before you take him...any chance you can kill some of this crabgrass?"

'How are we supposed to sleep with that Dawn Chorus of lawn mowers...?'

"I think I know what all that digging was about next door."

'It's them next door, on about that hedge again.'

No Diving.

'Let's get one for your mother.'

Don't tread on me.

"Maybe swatting your pesky garden squirrel with a broom isn't a good idea."