Garden Chaos Enthusiast Gifts

'My therapist suggested I redirect my anger into landscaping and gardening!'

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

Man's cooking explodes.

Ten out of ten for effort...

Anti-inflammation recipes

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Disaster in the kitchen.

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

Cooking With Pollock.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

"Jeepers, what happened to your power cord?"

"I got you some flowers..watered them, too.".

"And I suppose cleaning up after yourself just once would in some way stifle your precious creativity."

"Glad you have time for lunch today, honey."

"Apparently, he had occasional sober periods."

"That is why you don't put 'instant rice' in a slow cooker."

'Continue gently simmering for ten minutes...'

Chef looking up confused, Waiter behind him with pancake on his head.