Garage Mechanics Gifts

'You'd thin he'd do more with his mind control.'

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

CLEAR!

Turmoil change.

'No, don't tell me, your electric garage door is broken.'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'My husband thought he could save money by repairing it himself.'

A souped up car...

"Forget it – we're not buying some expensive sex robot for it to end up unused in the garage with the massaging armchair and the rowing machine."

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

Animals are smarter than we think!

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

Car robbers foiled by mousetraps surrounding a car.

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

"This says Hispanic life expectancy has risen to 80 years."

"It's worse than I thought."

Woman finds sensitive mechanic to date.

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"Turn down the bass."

"Crap! I forgot to put my car in the garage again!"

When did you last have your oil changed?

Auto Mechanic Birthdays

"Don't worry Doctor. We expect your car to make a full recovery."

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

'I understand you work on foreign models?'