Garage Gourmet Gifts

It's the little surprises that keep a marriage exciting...

LAY ZEE FUK

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'My electric car is giving me static!'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

The Main Types of Cheese

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Too much cilantro

To do before Saturday...

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

The Origins of Everything

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

'Is this still America?'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Holiday Supplies

Cheese

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'

'Cooking'