Garage Gourmet T-Shirts

It's the little surprises that keep a marriage exciting...

LAY ZEE FUK

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'My electric car is giving me static!'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

To do before Saturday...

Too much cilantro

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

The Main Types of Cheese

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Holiday Supplies

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Cheese

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'Is this still America?'

The Origins of Everything

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'Cooking'

Inflating Boobs.