Gravel Gourmet T-Shirts

"It needs a dash of gravel, I reckon."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

Queen of Quinoa

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

The Origins of Everything

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' colour

"I'm using this travel site to map out a trip to the land of Everything's Deep Fat Fried."

'Oof.'

'I wish John would stop using that gourmet pet food that makes gravy when you add water.'

'Now watch and listen!'

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'

'It's the same as our regular Angels hair pasta, but with extra grease.'

'Yup, might be time for a new gardener.'

"Well, we went through the fruit and veg, and thought we should try something more exotic - like the space-time continuum."

'WIll that be with or without methane, sir?'

"No, thank you. I'd prefer seeing a menu from the restaurant across the street."

"Cemetery Pie"

"Set phazers to medium rare!"

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

It's the little surprises that keep a marriage exciting...

'The salad bar's coming in early this year!!'

'Whatever fast food - fried stuff, fat, sugar, salt for the 'Doesn't Bother Me' person'.

"The little lady will have the chlorophyll and I'll have the sunlight with some weed and feed on the side."