Gang Culture Satire Gifts

'I wish you wouldn't carry knives in your trousers - they make such holes in your pockets!'

Politically Correct Snowperson

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

Cheesie Rider

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

Attack Of The Guy From The Other Room

"One trip to the dentist and look who's got the attitude!"

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

'Plastic surgeon' - 'Gift a give certificate to your ugly friends'

Al's Diner. No Tipping (wink, wink).

'OK, Now let's see your Downward Dog'.'

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

'Hey, man, that's not how we do the flash mob!'

"The president has banned the Mexican wave and replaced it with the American wave... Also, empanadas will now only use American jumping-beans."

'Thursday is out - I got my anger-management class.'

"As this is our first date, perhaps I should tell you that I participate in several frequent liar programmes."

"Our view is if it isn't made in a factory, it's organic."

"Nobody wants to hang out with Bedbug Man."

"That's very deep house."

"Just pick out the one who ate your husband."

Big car with machine gun poking through window, bumper sticker reads: Yardie on board.

Biclops: "...and then I was outed in '84 and force to admit I liked the men as well as the ladies."

Dating Agency with Best Before Dates.

"Keep pushing - I can see the baby's head!"

"I don't believe I care for anything, thank, you. I'm just in their car pool."

Hall of Mirrors

"Arrogant? Moi?"

'Would the jerk who just cut in front of the Starbucks line please report to a white discourtesy phone.'

No-one messed with the Crays.

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

"Baldo, it's an unspoken rule! Guys don't sit next to each other at the movies!"

I had hoped to file a missing persons report by now, but he won't leave.