Gamer In Denial Gifts

'Why do I always lose at this interactive television fishing show!'

Working Holiday

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

'Hey, I think my parents fooled me. This game is called 'Algebra Hero'.'

"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

"C'mon! C'mon! Almost there..."

'Goodbye, dear. This is the kind of day that makes you feel glad to be alive.'

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"I'm not worried because somehow all this is your fault."

"A new study shows half of all marriages end in divorce when one of the spouses bring their work home with them. Would you care to respond, honey?"

Wow! It's like I'm in a real field with cows and everything!

I blame society for putting me here. But mostly I blame metallurgy for keeping me here.

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

'I'm sorry but we don't have athletic scholarships for video games.'

"Look, I'm not blaming you. I'm just suing you."

"We put him in the field but it didn't help."

"Playing 'Pin on the mammoth'. . . a dumb idea."

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

"Being a twin is great. I always have a scapegoat."

"Sulk all you want Edward, we are not adding sporting equipment to our wedding registry!"

'What's wrong? You can play any game you want! Mwaahahaha!'

'I am willing to fail... as long as it's not my fault.'

"I blame the nurses."

Second Tuesday in November

'How are you at looking guilty? - We need to hire a scapegoat.'

'As usual, tech support is busy.'

"You blame this on the 4 martinis I drank. I blame it on the Bossa Nova."

'No, it doesn't connect to an X-box!'

'I quit my job because I'm coming into money. Yep, I'm 4-6 weeks away from several rebate checks arriving.'

Donald Trump said he'd have run into that school shooting without a gun to stop it. I'm way ahead of you, Randy. I've already developed a first-person shooter based on the Call of Duty engine. You play Trump, all decked out in his usual black suit and red power tie. Video-game Trump has to personally take out all of America's enemies. He's armed with nothing but his uncouth tweets. Game has a bug, though. As soon as it starts, video-game Trump keeps getting deferments because of bone spurs. Call

"I'd like to buy a scape goat. Maybe two."

An entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Digital Doppleganging: unplugging an inept player and letting them think they are playing while the computer really is.