Sports Enthusiast In Denial Gifts

"Sulk all you want Edward, we are not adding sporting equipment to our wedding registry!"

Castaway uses a solar panel to watch TV.

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

Improvised Dentistry.

'Goodbye, dear. This is the kind of day that makes you feel glad to be alive.'

"I have 15,000 patients...so my fantasy football team stinks."

"These guys stink. They're the worst team I've ever seen! What a bunch of losers!"

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

'After we showed him the partial print we got at the crime scene he decided to lawyer up.'

'If the verdict is guilty, Mr. Foreman, simply say 'Guilty.' Please refrain from shouting 'Yer outta here'....'

Church Open 51 Sundays Per Year, Closed Superbowl Sunday

"We put him in the field but it didn't help."

'Big deal. I could win every race too, if I used performance-enhancing sugar.'

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

At the Olympic qualifiers for staring out the window

'Amazing! You're the first patient I've ever met who gets blisters on his feet and pain in his back just by thinking of sport!'

'On Tuesdays, I bowl.'

'Crickets? I mean cricket?'

'I can't decide which I'm least excited about...the royal wedding or the Olympics.'

Baseball Cash

"Wake up, Larry - you're missing the pregame."

'...You've got no game.'

"Personally, I liked this place better before it became a sports bar."

"Batter up..."

"Olympics? It's the first I've heard of the Olympics being on."

Will I ever meet a financial advisor who inerstands my needs and likes the same sports teams I do?

'Why do I always lose at this interactive television fishing show!'

'... And so the tortoise beat the hare, but was later disqualified due to steriods abuse.'

'You may have misunderstood about Yompville being a country club prison.'

"There's no need to be alarmed, Mr McNulty. It's quite normal for some boys to show no interest in football."

Grim Reaper's caddy hands him the correct scythe from a golf bag of different scythes

'Did you know that arsenic has absolutely no trans fat?'