Gamer Extraordinnaire Gifts

'And you honey, how was your day at the PlayStation?'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

'Hey, I think my parents fooled me. This game is called 'Algebra Hero'.'

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Help wanted!...Ace Software, Inc...Video Game Tournament...Top 5 players get hired!

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

Teenage Angst.

Can I go to the Computer Tennis Camp?

'Let me through, let me through, I'm a computer geek.'

"C'mon! C'mon! Almost there..."

"That was before I found this amazing new way to earn $$$ working from home."

Monks play conkers with crucifix

'Pause your games, kids! There's a high fly ball deep to center field!'

"Hey, dad! How about I find a video game of this we can play together?"

Come to bed, Snookums. In a minute. Are you still playing Scrabble? And flaming my opponents. I just crushed an eight-year-old by 100 points and then told him his parents don't love him because he's illiterate! How nice you've found a hobby. I feel so nurtured.

The October 31 Committee

'There really is no need for confusion. Rule 10, section 5, article a, subsection 3, exception 4 quite clearly states ... '

Wow! It's like I'm in a real field with cows and everything!

We have your internet connection.

Hey, wow, Trevor's found a way to trainspot on the internet.

"It's confusing, son, but I'll try to explain: A nerd is a dork who's headed for college. A wonk is a nerd with one or more Ph.D.s. And then there' s the Uber-Wonk, like Daddy, who gets interviewed on TV all the time!"

Undercover Agent

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

"Enjoy it while you can, kid. It's a really short hop from 'Geek Genius' to 'Quasi-Creepy, Weird-Looking Old Rich Guy!'"

"I kind of did my maths homework... I worked out that if I was going to watch TV and play a video game, I wouldn't have time to do any homework."

Net Bubbie

"The transcranial magnetic stimulation headband lets me feel my victims' suffering."

"After a long day at school, it's nice just to come home, kick back and outrun a horde of bloodthirsty zombies."

'It says, the higher a man's I.Q., the longer he's a virgin... well, bud... here's your Nobel Prize nomination!'

Where's my nephew, Rudy? Haven't seen him in weeks. He just texted me a minute ago. He said "the elf army let us go. I ran into my old buddy. Russian contact arranged boat to motherland … Please feed all my Sims." If that's not his idea of guy-code for "don't bother me, I'm getting lucky," he's probably had a stroke or something. Oh no, then it had to be a stroke!

'They must want to trade those things for our corn - or possibly our blackjack tables.'