Game Room Dweller Gifts

'Now keep your mouth shut. This is our last ball.'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

In case of emergency, break glass.

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

Board Game Hunter

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

Two Players both holding the same cue.

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

Bishops Snooker

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

The weightless office.

'I'd like to come home... if I could.'

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

Student Food Pyramid

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

'You're not supposed to jump over the net.'

Al, The Go-From Guy

"That's our copy cat."

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

Paper being carefully folded until it resembles a scrunched up paper ball.

'It's kinda like an office with a window. The guy in the next cubicle put his fist through the wall.'

Biting Slippers.

"I'm sorry, Marvin. I can only spend so much time off the grid."

"Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."

"Wait a minute. Where am I going? I'm a writer."

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

'I was married to my job, until I recognized it as a co-dependent relationship.'

Well done, Harris. That's one of the straightest paperclips I've ever seen.

"He spends 24/7 behind that computer of his. I guess he lives in a fishbowl, too."

'And this is where daddy goes through the motions.'