Game Day Regular Gifts

"So then the boss said - 'The way you've been playing lately, next week I'm putting you in a new position'."

Church for sports worshipers.

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

Go team!

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'Hey, hey, hey!'

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Strive to win!

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

What is it with football and this drinking culture?

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

American Football.

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

'Peanuts, popcorn, steroids!'

Football supporters.

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

"One word from you when the wife gets home and you're next Sunday's roast!"

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'