Gambling Critic Gifts

'Sad case... I hear he bet his life savings on Britain winning the Eurovision Song Contest...'

'We say no to the new casino.'

Stock market investment advice

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"Before we start, does anyone fancy a bet on the outcome?"

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

'If you had more criminal potential, you'd get a bonus like all the other investment bankers!'

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

BP Greed Credentials - huge profits and cuts to environmental promises.

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF, 'It's official, sir - EVERYBODY'S overdrawn!'

"But is it art?"

'Remember, guys... we've got to clean up this mess before the folks get home.'

"If you hold it up to your ear you can hear the sloshing sound of trillions of dollars worth of unsecured debt."

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

'Let me get this straight, Reverend. You would now like to diversify the Church's 'No Sin' endowment to include some 'Greed'?'

'I felt an overwhelming nostalgia for the old video games where you sit on your arse.'

A tortoise walks away from a poker game, having lost its shell.

'...here are this week's lucky fur balls.'

'The cat does like having something to scratch.'

Cyber 9/11

"Eh? What? Eh? I'm sorry, I dozed off during all that cross-field and back passing."

Bank loans.

Inventing the roulette wheel.

Just doing my bit towards breaking up the banks...