Modern Gaming Critic Gifts

'I felt an overwhelming nostalgia for the old video games where you sit on your arse.'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

"That newspaper has been showing up ever since you started reading the news online. I think it feels betrayed."

I'm doing my essay on John Milton's "Paradise Lost"...the video game.

"This computer program is very intuitive. It automatically calls me when you do something stupid."

'I had every intention of giving you your pay check, Ken, but the payroll computer has decided you don't deserve it.'

"These guys stink. They're the worst team I've ever seen! What a bunch of losers!"

Solitaire card shark.

'I want a computing system that has a few more games programmed into it.'

In the Year 2525

"Grandma says cutting school used to require a hiding place and forgery."

"Do you ever wanna get back in the game?"

"Eh? What? Eh? I'm sorry, I dozed off during all that cross-field and back passing."

Super Karamazov Bros.

The referee...

'I grew bored just watching TV and video game violence.'

Donald Trump said he'd have run into that school shooting without a gun to stop it. I'm way ahead of you, Randy. I've already developed a first-person shooter based on the Call of Duty engine. You play Trump, all decked out in his usual black suit and red power tie. Video-game Trump has to personally take out all of America's enemies. He's armed with nothing but his uncouth tweets. Game has a bug, though. As soon as it starts, video-game Trump keeps getting deferments because of bone spurs. Call

'I could only afford the Xbox 180, so you only get to see the characters from behind.'

The AdRams Family no.18 - Tennis skills

Double Down

'We say no to the new casino.'

"Great flash mob, isn't it?"

"We're hoping to have enough kids to get our own reality show."

Caesar and Games' Consul.

Titanic and Tetris.

"Who approved all this infrastructure spending for casinos?"

'Damn kids have given binge drinkin' a bad name.'

'My client pleads not guilty by reason of too much video game violence made him do it.'

'Do you ever think Mature is kind of an odd way to classify video games?'

"She refuses to use emojis!"

"Gaming is to blame for all these mass shootings."

'I was driving around in some very heavy traffic, and i thought 'big deal, it's only virtual reality'..But it wasn't.'