Gambling Critic Pillows

Stock market investment advice

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

"Before we start, does anyone fancy a bet on the outcome?"

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

BP Greed Credentials - huge profits and cuts to environmental promises.

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

'If you had more criminal potential, you'd get a bonus like all the other investment bankers!'

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF, 'It's official, sir - EVERYBODY'S overdrawn!'

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

"But is it art?"

'Remember, guys... we've got to clean up this mess before the folks get home.'

"If you hold it up to your ear you can hear the sloshing sound of trillions of dollars worth of unsecured debt."

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

A tortoise walks away from a poker game, having lost its shell.

'Let me get this straight, Reverend. You would now like to diversify the Church's 'No Sin' endowment to include some 'Greed'?'

'...here are this week's lucky fur balls.'

'The cat does like having something to scratch.'

"Eh? What? Eh? I'm sorry, I dozed off during all that cross-field and back passing."

Just doing my bit towards breaking up the banks...

'Hang on a minute, Mother...why does your care plan include me 'popping to the bookies' for you?'

Inventing the roulette wheel.

'My office is boarded up. Why do I get the feeling my boss is still made at me for beating him at poker over the weekend.'