Gambling Expert Pillows

'Medical Building Odds'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Dog in casino.

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

Destination casinos...

"Before we start, does anyone fancy a bet on the outcome?"

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

"I've invented the wheel. We're going to be rich."

Tonto Casino.

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

"It's lotto fever."

"Spend a pound, lend a pound, risk a pound and shed a pound."

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

Unnatural Selection.

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

'Do your homework! - You gotta learn math if you want to be a bookie!'

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

Between pub and bookie: 'Very sought-after position.'

'I'm all in.'

'You've got a degree in mathematics? Well, the economy isn't logical. It's about irrationality, superstition, gossip and pure luck. You need a degree in gambling and black magic.'