Gambling Guru Pillows

"I'll give you 3 to 1 nobody else turns up."

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

'If this works, it'll change everything. We could open a casino.'

'I've really been cleaning up in the Las Vegas poker rooms.'

Betting on $80 oil price.

'I suggest a short term cash investment. Lucky Lady 2.30 Newmarket.'

'Sorry - those figures aren't part of the equation. They're my lottery numbers.'

Betting the Farm.

Jockey with blinkers.

"This is de ja vu all over again. I lost my shirt at the Taj Mahal in Atlantic City."

"One thing about Earl - Earl knows when to fold."

"Rodney always gives the lottery balls a little extra lucky shake, just before the draw."

Vas Vegas Toilet - Looks like Fruit Machine.

"Me no invent wheel to be used for this!"

"Don't say goodnight yet, dear. If I don't win this next hand, you'll be going home with, Dave."

"It's lotto fever."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

The Derby- Horse Auction at Tattersall's

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

For Sale sign combined with Fruit Machine - 'House Price Lottery'

Social Security Scratcher.

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

"Today casino stocks dropped on news that what happened in Vegas was spotted in Atlantic city."

Recession tip-offs

"I can't see this gambling commission working"

'Kimbell, I'd like to take a look at our accounts.'

Slot machine with tip slot.

'I'm afraid that was a definite no...there's no way the Inland Revenue will consider your suggestion of double or quits.'

"Put it all on Misty Lady, 3.30 at Chepstow."

It takes money to make money.

"And finally for the record, the clerk of the court has odds of 6-4 guilty, 2-1 not guilty..."

"I've invented the wheel. We're going to be rich."

Organ Gambling

"But will they cover the spread?"