Gambling Professional Pillows

'Freeze, boys! Show me your hands.'

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Dogs and their thoughts

Little league world series of poker.

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'I don't like to take chances.'

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

Dog in casino.

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

"Stag poker"

"Incidentally, my men's group has retrograded into a poker game."

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Riverboat 4 Square Hustlers

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

"Things got heated with the Morgans. I may have wagered our car. You're up."

Slug roulette

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

Before Dogs Knew How To Play Poker,

Playing cards.

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

Prehistoric Peeps: Even the 'Derby' had its primeval counterpart.

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'