Gambler Extrordinaire Gifts

Feeling lucky?

Little league world series of poker.

'I don't like to take chances.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Better luck next time, kid."

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

The Card Flinger

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

"We've done everything in this book, and more. There's nothing left."

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

"Honey, the dog learned a new trick. And now I owe him twelve dollars."

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'

Worm Bed

"Have you been scratching this?"

'Frank has won 20 hands in a row. I'm beginning to think that's not him, but rather a robot with a poker computer installed.'

"And for only $19.99 I can give you my super bowl pick."

Unnatural Selection.

"I'll see your two and raise you three."

Blackjack: free lemonade!

'Well, sure, two pair is nice but nothing beats five singles!'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

Solitaire card shark.

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

'You've got a degree in mathematics? Well, the economy isn't logical. It's about irrationality, superstition, gossip and pure luck. You need a degree in gambling and black magic.'

"He's in a high stake poker game right now."

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

'I think I'll raise.'

Monkey casino study.