Gambler Extrordinaire Pillows

Little league world series of poker.

'I don't like to take chances.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Better luck next time, kid."

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

The Card Flinger

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

"Honey, the dog learned a new trick. And now I owe him twelve dollars."

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'

Worm Bed

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

"Have you been scratching this?"

'Frank has won 20 hands in a row. I'm beginning to think that's not him, but rather a robot with a poker computer installed.'

Solitaire card shark.

Unnatural Selection.

Blackjack: free lemonade!

'Well, sure, two pair is nice but nothing beats five singles!'

"I'll see your two and raise you three."

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

'You've got a degree in mathematics? Well, the economy isn't logical. It's about irrationality, superstition, gossip and pure luck. You need a degree in gambling and black magic.'

'You should take one -- you could only improve your hand.'

Monkey casino study.

"He's in a high stake poker game right now."

'I like the look of that Trojan Boy.'

Leaving America to chance, the USA being eaten by a die