Gambler With A Twist Pillows

Little league world series of poker.

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

'I don't like to take chances.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'Hey, I think my parents fooled me. This game is called 'Algebra Hero'.'

"Better luck next time, kid."

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

'You catch me, you throw me back. You catch me, you throw me back. Dude, get a life!'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

"Honey, the dog learned a new trick. And now I owe him twelve dollars."

Lady to angler whose line is snagged: 'You would manage to get your line caught in the one tree in this entire massive lake.'

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'

Worm Bed

"You can get good cards but still have terrible luck."

Fisherman pulling out hook with sign on it saying 'Out to lunch'.

"Have you been scratching this?"

"C'mon! C'mon! Almost there..."

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

'Frank has won 20 hands in a row. I'm beginning to think that's not him, but rather a robot with a poker computer installed.'

"I'll see your two and raise you three."

Unnatural Selection.

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

Blackjack: free lemonade!

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

'Well, sure, two pair is nice but nothing beats five singles!'

Solitaire card shark.

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

'You should take one -- you could only improve your hand.'

Monkey casino study.

'I like the look of that Trojan Boy.'