Gallery Gourmand T-Shirts

"These days I'm living mostly on gallery openings food and drinks."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

"It's Chicken Mole!"

Just one more choccy...

A London gent abroad

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

Dijon Vu

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

"Table number five have just eaten their table decoration!"

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

The Master chef had produced his masterpiece... a monster Danish pastry!

Capturing a Cook

"Cemetery Pie"

'It seems the environment people, the health department and the food and drug administration all have reservations about his place.'

Endangered Entrees

'Chefs, the secret ingredient for tonight's competition is - wing of bat!'