Gallery Cleaner Gifts

Cleaner cleaning up the paintings in a gallery.

Misunderstood artist

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

National Museum of Refrigerator Art.

The perfectionist.

Private Viewing

'Poor thing. He got left out in the acid rain.'

'I only buy art that I can understand.'

Cat art exhibition.

Let's see...number 61...the painting's name is 'Calamity'.

His new 'Absence of Anything' reminds me strangely of his earlier blank 'Nothing to Say' canvasses."

"It's just me, the algae-eater. Mind if I tidy up a bit in here?"

'Rodin's wet blanket'

"All brooms are useless. . .!!"

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

"He had help. There were architecture specialists, costume specialists, angel specialists..."

Museum Guard Portrait

'You can see the artist has tried to capture man's aspirations, using a minimalist language.'

'I may not know much about art but I know what I like to slag off.'

"Apparently it's a temporary exhibit."

"May I tidy up the infield?"

'Lovely private view . . . must come again to see the pictures.'

'Three words, Corporal: 'Advanced military technology',,, Relax,'

Carpet cleaning

"If you're such a good artist how I come I can't buy any of your stuff on a mug?"

Is clutter necessary?

Jan Arnolfini and his wife...(it was a boy)

'You're in Gallery Two... right, see you in the bar.'

"Those visits to the Tate will be the death of Roger."

"...yes I just popped in to feed your cat and do a spot of vacuuming!"

Tate Modern

the statue

"What does it mean? I'm just the guard here...the colors move from cold to warm tones, signaling a gradual release from the stress of the diagonal."

"You've probably already guessed, ...I'm the bluebird of sloppiness."