Gallery Cleaner Gifts

Cleaner cleaning up the paintings in a gallery.

Misunderstood artist

Things my vacuum likes to suck up

Private Viewing

The perfectionist.

'I only buy art that I can understand.'

'Poor thing. He got left out in the acid rain.'

Let's see...number 61...the painting's name is 'Calamity'.

Cat art exhibition.

"It's just me, the algae-eater. Mind if I tidy up a bit in here?"

His new 'Absence of Anything' reminds me strangely of his earlier blank 'Nothing to Say' canvasses."

'Rodin's wet blanket'

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

"He had help. There were architecture specialists, costume specialists, angel specialists..."

"All brooms are useless. . .!!"

Museum Guard Portrait

"Apparently it's a temporary exhibit."

'You can see the artist has tried to capture man's aspirations, using a minimalist language.'

'I may not know much about art but I know what I like to slag off.'

"May I tidy up the infield?"

'Lovely private view . . . must come again to see the pictures.'

'Three words, Corporal: 'Advanced military technology',,, Relax,'

Carpet cleaning

"If you're such a good artist how I come I can't buy any of your stuff on a mug?"

Is clutter necessary?

Jan Arnolfini and his wife...(it was a boy)

'You're in Gallery Two... right, see you in the bar.'

"Those visits to the Tate will be the death of Roger."

"...yes I just popped in to feed your cat and do a spot of vacuuming!"

the statue

Cleaning woman enter's doctor's office with huge medical supplies to use to clean office.

'I don't know which is worse - the popcorn people spill on the floor, or the chicken poop.'

'Just like nature, I abhor a vacuum - especially when I'm working!'