Gallerist Gifts

"The pink ones are sashimi, and I believe the little yellow ones just fell off the Pollock."

Cézanne, Mont Sainte-Victoire

The less one gets it, the more it's art.

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

Crap Gallery

Larry's used art

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Culture Saturday

"Well....I could've done this!"

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

bird interprets modern art

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

'I could do that.'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Children's Art Show.

Cats at private view

Rodin's Browser

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

The Rise of Modern Art

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

"Now this I get."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

'What do you suppose he's trying to say?'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

Baby vandalizes an art gallery.

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'