Gallery Gazer Gifts

Question Mark Picture.

'Art overload - even this is beginning to llke like kitsch.'

Tate Modern: Turbine Hall

'I thought it was the ultimate expression of minimalism, but it turns out the gallery's lost its funding.'

They say the artist found his muse in a bottle of Cabernet Souvingnon.

'I may not know art, but I know what I hate.'

'There is nothing wrong with your eyes. They all really looked like that.'

'This elusive self-portrait of the artist is perhaps his most famous work. It was purchased, by the museum, for one hundred and ninety million dollars and is now valued at 900 million dollars...'

The Gallery Guard Unravelling the Wool of a Jumper on a Painting, Creating a Nude.

The storm in a picture is felt in the art gallery.

This is not a Constable, but more than likely the work of his son, Charles.

Fin (The end).

"I know it's only a thumbnail sketch, but I quite like it!"

'I think it's called RED!'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"He's known for his realistic landscapes. The little white blobs in the trees are plastic bags."

"That's the fire alarm. . ."

A woman with a shopping trolly looking at a still life painting

'Notice how the eyes appear to follow you around the room?'

Artist painting an artist doing a painting.

'Two critics arriving at a new exhibit simultaneously.'

'There seems to be a mercenary element creeping into his work.'

"The artist, in the main, painted ships although he did go through a brief 'toilet' phase..."

Artists in big spaces paint big canvases, whilst artists in small spaces paint on small ones.

Modigliani's Giraffe

Artist Paints Sale

'Beret Night at the Museum'

An octopus admiring an inkblot painting

Museum. Shhh!

Larry's used art

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Culture Saturday