Gallery Gazers Gifts

By some incredible stroke of luck, the staff of the Ontario Art Gallery had put up the sign just moments before the arrival of Bill Gates.

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

"No, it's not by Jackson Pollock, it's actually a Rembrandt. This gallery just has really inattentive security attendants.

Larry's used art

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

'Teenagers!'

"Well....I could've done this!"

God Sneezes Out Creation

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

'I could do that.'

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

The Rise of Modern Art

Cats at private view

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

Children's Art Show.

Rodin's Browser

"Now this I get."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'Wow, talk about genius!'

Emergency exit into Space

I painted them all from memory.

Baby vandalizes an art gallery.

Rodin's Cattle-Grid