Galactic Recruiter T-Shirts

'We don't settle for second best... And Bleargh here is the best in the galaxy.'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

"I hear the Universe is expanding - set up a meeting with their people."

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'

"Here's a blues number I wrote after hat shopping the other day."

Help me COVI one ten O.B. you're my only hope

"Earthlings."

'I could have sworn I put those moon rocks in my pocket...'

Craft Show: Earth & Martianware.

"No Littering" sign in space.

Expanding Sun engulfs Planets

"Are you sure they'll be able to read English?"

'...No it's Malcom from ***** after someone with autocad experience in elecro-mechanical design.'

"It's a great extra recruiting tool. Those who know they can't live up to that quickly disappear."

'What'll it be . . . too large or too small?'

"Hurry children, space is limited!"

'You'll need to do much more than just pass the time away here, because we're known to work live-long days.'

I for one welcome our new alien overlords

"That's good for the budget. We don't have to exterminate the humans to conquer the earth. They'll take care of that themselves."

"Good morning! I'd like to come in and talk to you about the Bible..."

US Military Recruitment: Now Training - Drone Airstrike Operators

"In the mid 60s I received both my draft card and a Valentine's Day card on February 14th. Being a conscientious objector to both love and war, I burned both cards."

Lateral Recruits

Bowling ball earth