Extraterrestrial Recruiter T-Shirts

"Earthlings."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO

High-gravity baseball

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

How am I abducting?

Watch the skies: UFO buffs all stare at the sky, yet alien is amongst them.

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

"Wow! You do have a triple A membership!"

Elevator Music

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

"A glimpse into a cartoon character's dressing room..."

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

An alien tries to hitch a lift at the side of the road

"You're getting close. This is the gift shop."

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

Giorgio A. Tsoukalos - Ancient Aliens

"Every abductee gets a souvenir mug."

' Can I borrow change for the bus? With the cost of gas, I just can't justify buzzing around the city in that thing.'

Welcome: Skeptics Society

'Of course I'm paranoid and delusional, dummy! -- I was abducted by aliens, for crying out loud!'

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

"They're very time-sensitive."

'Take me to your leader Earthworm.'