Galactic Recruiter Mugs

'We don't settle for second best... And Bleargh here is the best in the galaxy.'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

"I hear the Universe is expanding - set up a meeting with their people."

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'

'I could have sworn I put those moon rocks in my pocket...'

Help me COVI one ten O.B. you're my only hope

You have a lot of patients coming to your for counseling! Yeah, I just saw a supernova who is dealing with burnout. Later, I'll see Pluto about his inferiority complex and a black hole who wants to fill a void in its life. Then Hailey's Comet and his wife will discuss why he's rarely there for her. Since your practice went universal it just keeps expanding! You're so busy! Yeah, my head is spinning!

"Here's a blues number I wrote after hat shopping the other day."

Barack Skywalker

"Earthlings."

Craft Show: Earth & Martianware.

"No Littering" sign in space.

"Anything you say, Mr. Einstein, can be used to explain the origin of the universe."

"Are you sure they'll be able to read English?"

Expanding Sun engulfs Planets

"Hey, universe! I'm significant and I'm in charge!"

"It's a great extra recruiting tool. Those who know they can't live up to that quickly disappear."

'...No it's Malcom from ***** after someone with autocad experience in elecro-mechanical design.'

"Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?"

'What'll it be . . . too large or too small?'

'You'll need to do much more than just pass the time away here, because we're known to work live-long days.'

"That's good for the budget. We don't have to exterminate the humans to conquer the earth. They'll take care of that themselves."

"Hurry children, space is limited!"

Adult Crime, Not Adult Logic

I for one welcome our new alien overlords

Bowling ball earth

An astronaut with a little alien drilling into his helmet.

Lateral Recruits

You called me, boss? Yes. I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we've found. I want you to stop doing that. At least until I'm done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don't need any competitors driving up the prices. Very bad man. When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing.

"In the mid 60s I received both my draft card and a Valentine's Day card on February 14th. Being a conscientious objector to both love and war, I burned both cards."