Galactic Linguist T-Shirts

"We sent a message to any extraterrestrial beings in deep space. It was picked up by an observatory in Great Britain. They didn't understand it."

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

'Iguana know what time it is.'

'Instead of cubicles, we call them interconnected productivity centres.'

'Three zillion, five hundred trillion and sixty seven billion light years from Zog and now you tell me you've forgot to cancel the milk!'

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

Questions

"Is there someone other than Trump I can speak to? I didn't come all this way to talk to an idiot!"

'And so thanks to my dad's waistline I now understand the theory of our constantly expanding universe!'

"Do you think it's a form of greeting?"

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

'This should succeed...it's not aimed at anything.'

Dad Planet: 'Hey you KIDS! I thought i said no ORBITING in the house!'

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

"Here's a blues number I wrote after hat shopping the other day."

You have a lot of patients coming to your for counseling! Yeah, I just saw a supernova who is dealing with burnout. Later, I'll see Pluto about his inferiority complex and a black hole who wants to fill a void in its life. Then Hailey's Comet and his wife will discuss why he's rarely there for her. Since your practice went universal it just keeps expanding! You're so busy! Yeah, my head is spinning!

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'

"Let us recall the parable of Jesus turning the other tentacle."

A 'DIVERSION' sign points to a crazy guy.

"Are there space-babes?"

'I could have sworn I put those moon rocks in my pocket...'

'He's so clever he's learning a second language!'

Ernie, as a scientist you should say the birds are "making aggressive vocalizations," not "feuding with tweets."

"Are you sure they'll be able to read English?"

"Hey, universe! I'm significant and I'm in charge!"

"Anything you say, Mr. Einstein, can be used to explain the origin of the universe."

Sarah visited the planet Spelling Mistake and met the Spellingmistakians

'Of course I can spell -- I just can't spell conventionally.'

'If the Sun doesn't explode in five billion years, do you realize how foolish we'll look?'

Serious business

The Death Star gets a marketing makeover.

Expanding Sun engulfs Planets

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'