Galactic Philosopher T-Shirts

'And people wonder why we're searching for intelligent life.'

"I've absorbed all matter within my gravitational pull. I should be happy..."

Neil Armstrong 1930-2012.

"These humans are very primitive, some of them still judge each other on the basis of their skin pigmentation."

Questions

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"Good game."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

Chiller Theatre

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

Zenemies.

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

How life on Earth really got its start.

Newton's Cradle Solar System

Creativity

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

Coronavirus

'...and at this point I'm afraid the tax laws become totally theoretical.'

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"When I was your age, we wished on stars. Now, we wish on satellites!"

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

'How can I get my baby to sleep?'

"We've all said things about heliocentricity that look bad when taken out of context."