Galactic Explorer T-Shirts

Rocket.

'Sorry I'm late, but you know how the Universe keeps expanding.'

"You're new here, aren't you?"

'Your resume said you had experience related to astronomy - could you elaborate?' 'I've spent a lot of time staring into space.'

'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

Investment firm: National division/International Division/Universal Division.

Astronaut Watching the Earth Being Blown Apart.

"We don't get to this branch office often enough."

Recalculating!

'Take me to your mechanic.'

'Well, what kind of turnout did you expect?'

We've got to move closer to work. These 200 light year commutes are killing me.

Astronaut plants flag and deflates the moon.

Humanz Go Home!

"Yes, it's first on the right past Venus. You can't miss it."

'If anybody's gotta go, this is the time to speak up.'

"The best place to make black hole discoveries is in the bedroom."

"Here.....pass me that bloody sat-nav!"

'Hey you earthling! Today is the last day of your life!' - Hello Houston... Something is telling me this is the last day of my life!

"You traveled 40 trillion miles to Earth, for work, and took the standard deduction?"

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"I know about full moons, but come here!"

"All hail Lord Zog, Ruler of the Galaxy!"

Some domestic cats will roam further than others.

"They issued me a fine for not wearing a mask."

"Indomitable spirit? Oh no, humans are nothing special in that regard. But you do rank number one in the galaxy for whining and self-delusion."

"Oh well, at least it's not Earth."

"Excuse me, sir, can I get off now? I think I'm gonna hurl."

Astronaut

"This suit cost 12,000,000,000,000 space credits."

"After unfolding the telescope in space, we found your phone."

"If space travel is not yet possible,how do you explain the voyages of the starship Enterprise?"

Hunting with a Ray Gun: Charred Trophies.

"I just did a transit of mercury."

"I'm waiting in for a plumber."