Future Roller Derby Star Gifts

'This is just the first step -- my ultimate goal is to invent roller derby!'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

New Guy.

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

Exercising

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

Runt! You'll never make the team. We'll see! You can't even tie your shoelace! Great technique!

Future Wrestler

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'

"But I wasn't running in the hall."

'The team we're playing tonight is good 'cause I heard they know how to turn and stop!'

Football Skills

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

'We're going to insist that he at least finish kindergarten before entering the NBA draft.'

"I want to be a Jockey."

The over 80s ain't what they used to be!

"Papi, will I be the first in our family to go to college?"

'Not everyone can make it as a professional footballer!' 'I know dad, there are snooker and darts players...'

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

"I like you kid, but you're really just a work in progress!"

I'm not worried about the economy. Me either! It's not like I'm going into banking, car manufacturing, or real estate. Totally! We'll still make the big bucks. May I ask doing what? Movie actress. Rock star. When you move to L.A., I'm not converting your bedroom.

Boy holding football.

Tortoise & Hare.

"Phyllis was Roller Derby Queen of 1962, and she'll never let you forget it."

Daddy's little girl....Or not...

Your brother's threatening to be a fat cat banker. Barf! I will do something socially useful with my life! That's my girl! When I'm a famous actress, I'll talk forcefully to "Entertainment Tonight" about my vegetarian diet! Maybe we should have had more children. Or non.

School children looking at different careers from magazine covers, each involving celebrity status.