Future Predicting Funster Gifts

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"It will be all your fault."

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

"What the hell happened to this town?"

'You will meet a sexy, honest fortune teller who will take all your money!'

The End of the World is Nigh - man with placard

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

'You will write a book, but it won't be on Oprah's recommended list.'

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

Clairvoyant - I want to divorce my husband. He's having an affair next week.

Poll: The World Will End With: Nuclear War, Global Warming, Assault Weapons.

"Sometimes I like to think back and reminisce about tomorrow."

"I see you on a beach..."

A self-filling prophecy.

Bill Gates Takes Over The Psychic Friends Hotline.

'Waiter, there's going to be a fly in my soup!'

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

"Let's save some time, shall we?... Yes, no, for about five years, since I was a small boy, yes, I can start on Monday. Thanks, bye."

'You will go 3 for 5 tomorrow.'

'Sorry, I don't do financial advice.'

The End is Near/Just the Beginning

'Read that part again where it predicts a cold, snowy winter for the midwest...'

Vision Board: If you're reading this, it's not too late.

Psychic: Palm reading, tarot, and lost and found.

2017 glass half full

"I now offer DVR service for clients for want to see their future later."

"Ever since he saw the new budget he's been obsessing over the numbers."

"Someday, God willing, they'll bring the stars down to our eye level so we don't have to strain our necks."