Future Physician Gifts

'I can't read a word of this essay of yours. Excellent work.'

'A little professionalism, people. When asking a patient to undress, we do not giggle.'

Little doctor.

"Bad news, Dad—you're brain-dead!"

'Young man, haven't you ever heard of the hippocratic oath?'

The Medical Student

"Dad, I want to become a doctor. I already know something about anatomy: A human being consists of a head, a belly, legs, arms, and a smartphone."

'I'm not playing - I don't trust you!'

'An 'A' in penmanship. There goes my career as a doctor.'

Mom, you gotta raise my allowance. I can't afford my malpractice insurance!

'Take two tootsie rolls and call me in the morning.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

Day one, medical shool: 'This is my elbow, this is my ass...'

"No, Dad, I'm not practicing to be a golfer when I grow up! I'm practicing to be a doctor!"

"I want to be a doctor, but they won't let me! It's discrimination!"

"If I make it into medical school it'll be as a cadaver!"

"You DO have health insurance, I assume!"

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"You always get to be the therapist! I never get to be the therapist!"

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

"Gracie, what does a little girl like you wish for? I mean, besides being a doctor, a motivational speaker, a great parent and becoming president?"

'Stop purring I can't hear your heart beat.'

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

Young Doctor, Young Nurse, Young Undertaker

The importance of paying attention in med school.

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

"That's enough about the noggin and the schnoz. Let's move on to the tummy-wummy and the keister."

'I don't make house calls. My mom won't let me leave the yard.'