Future Pet Owner T-Shirts

"I told you a pet is a lot of responsibility. Now, take your balloon dog out for some air."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Pick me!"

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"Cat box"

Nothing beats the love of a good cat.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Updated Nursery Rhyme #27.

"Man's best friends."

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

'She's just great with the children.'

'He's the one who needs obedience training!'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

A gardener sowing flower seeds - and a cat sowing bird seed.

No littering...

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

Beware of the Dog Hair.

'Sure, it's our pool. . . but who's going to tell him that?'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

Soft Spot.

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

'How's my rabbit settling into his new home? He's still a bit jumpy!'

'I think he thinks I'm a pillow.'

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press