New Pet Owners T-Shirts

'My goldfish died. I over-watered him.'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Bitchbark Canoe

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

"Actually, make that a double cream."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"Pick me!"

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"Foster failure"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"Cat box"

'That was fun!'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

Nothing beats the love of a good cat.

Dog Dreams

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

Cat Nip.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"That’s great, but where’s the Frisbee?!"

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"Man's best friends."

A man and his dog

Foster failure