Future Pet Lover T-Shirts

"It doesn't need batteries, Billy. It's a real puppy."

Bitchbark Canoe

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"Pick me!"

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

Cat woman shopping for cats.

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'I'm not sure which one is the role model.'

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

Canine Companion

'Works every time.'

"First date hairball... awkward."

'You and Rags working together make great dinosaur finders.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Desert Island BBQ

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'