Future In-law Navigator T-Shirts

'I'll say yes, but you still have to face my parent's confirmation hearing.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

Between Offices

This is forever... till death do us part...

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'Have you two taken the COSMO 'compatibility test'?'

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

Seriously, Bob, your map reading skills leave a lot to be desired!'

"OK, now what?"

'Keep pumping Mildred.'

'None of the other things had instructions.'

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."

Doubt or Certainy

"I owe my success to always being the lesser of two evils."

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

'I received matching offers.'

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

"I see myself rising through the ranks of the organization until midlife, when I will most likely hit a wall and go screaming through the door."

"I've seen a number of meteoric career flameouts in my time, but Phil's was sure in a class by itself!"

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

'I think he's proud of his ability to be in the way in more than one room at a time.'

Mother's Day: 2nd Sunday in May, Others Day: Every day before and after the 2nd Sunday in May.

How to Polish Up Your Resume. Remember, you don't want to polish it to the point you can actually see yourself in it.

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

My changing Body: A Guide For New Fathers

Universidad