Future Brother-in-law Gifts

Genial youth talking to his sister's fiancée

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

“I have to warn you - my parents are a bit old-fashioned.”

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

"One day son, all this will be run by robots."

'So, paternity leave problem solved then?'

'Come and get it!'

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

Father and son with matching beer crates.

'See, Dear? Told you I'd make it fit!'

"Remember, if we get split up, take the A to 42nd, transfer to the Brooklyn bound 2, get off at Eastern parkway and buy a ticket for the Brooklyn Museum and make sure to tell them you're under three."

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

Bishops Snooker

"A little required reading before your G7 summit."

Stockwell's day

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'He Will!'

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

'Mr Sims, in honor of your portfolio, we're flying our flag at half-mast.'

Judge, jury and executioner.

"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."